Between professional flexibility and artistic self-fulfilment

 

Laila identifies the bravery of artists and how keeping an open mind about the future is a useful working tool. She talks with gentle consideration of others, providing a grounding, honest and holistic approach to her thinking. 

 

 

From graduation, Laila worked as a dancer for multi-award winner Wayne McGregor’s Random Dance. Whilst Wayne’s drive and energy continued to be contagious and a constant inspiration, after eight years of touring she realised she was ready for a change. She explained that she was reaching her 30s, her body was tired and there was a draw to leave the UK’s capital city and set up a new home with her partner in Bristol. She explains "The change felt very organic, there was not a burning desire to make my own work, more like a question as to whether I could.” The gradual transition from dancer to dance maker began.

 

 

Even for a dancer for whom falling down and getting up is a constant part of everyday life, "trying and failing never felt that threatening.” The key for Laila, which enables her success, lies within the people she knows and a strong support network. She recognises that her attitude in life is partly due to her up-bringing, "My parents have always supported me, I’ve always felt that if all else failed I could go to them. So, trying and failing never felt that threatening. Their support gave me a freedom to give things a go.” She talks of how she began to learn about becoming her own manager and identifies her first employer as one of her key persons, "I am indebted to Wayne; he knew where my interests and curiosity lied, and often thought of me when opportunities came up: asking me to assist him on projects or passing projects my way. His loyalty was a massive leg-up into the world of dance making, and these connections have never really come to an end. It’s good to recognise who is around you.”

 

 

Laila is a peaceful artist with a naturally calm and considered character. "Because of the way I work, inevitably some of what I do exists very slightly under the radar”. As a producer, a maker, and a manager, not forgetting her family life, she recognises that some areas, such as marketing may be neglected. Time is certainly a contending reason for this, but it appears that even the way she runs her business needs to reflect her aura, "I want to be careful with how I use social media. I don’t want to shout. I want to connect and embed my work with people on a different level”. Laila keeps in check her honest desires for the type of work she makes. Where an often-accepted measure of an artist's successful career is that of a work output which keeps getting bigger and more expensive to make, Laila thinks ambition and growth take different guises. "Bigger is not always better; or more ambitious; or more impactful; or more meaningful.”

 

 

This attitude of listening to her inner creative self, influences her professional choices. I was interested to know whether she makes work to please audiences or even those who fund her. "No, I think, I’ve been working on things that interest me. There is of course a desire to connect; and I do think about who will see the work, but I also realise that what I’m into is not necessarily of hugely popular taste. When a colleague suggested that perhaps contemporary dance was a bit like poetry, with a committed but relatively small audience, it felt very freeing to me, a relief. I like to think of my work as questions I share with an audience. I'm curious to know what they might connect with and make meaning of within the work I offer. It is a conversation.” Recently Laila made a piece for Sarah Lamb, Principal Dancer at the Royal Ballet. In the safety of the studio, the work, full of small gestures and of a virtuosity found in less usual places felt good to her. They later took the piece to New York where it was presented as part of an evening of works for/by Royal Ballet stars for an expectant public and critical audience at the Joyce Theatre. "Well, suddenly, in that context, and even though I expected it, I felt exposed. I was keenly aware that there would be expectations - of a classical virtuosity, of physical prowess which my work doesn't seek out. The piece was generously received thankfully for my ego... But we, as artists, put ourselves in vulnerable positions again and again. Artists are brave.”

 

 

I talked with Laila about the challenges of balancing out family commitments and the ability of taking on new artistic projects. "When I decided to have a family I made the decision that part of the bargain might be the need to consider a change of career, or working a 9-to-5 job, but somehow things have still worked out and I can still carry on with my dance making. I’m not single minded. I can imagine doing other things. It helps me to remember, when times are tough, that being a choreographer is not the only choice.” That is not to say that Laila has not felt her fair share of anxiety or stress, but this was often as a result of trying to work within old or borrowed frameworks that just didn't suit her current situation, or working at times that simply did not fit in with her life. "One day I made a conscious decision to stop fighting in order to try and fit work into my day; living my family and professional life separately just wasn’t feeling right; instead I started to think of it as one life. I now do what I need to do so that my life functions as a whole. Laila explains the difficulty of separating management time and creative time, as there is a strong overlap in the thinking and the activity. Producing, planning, partnership building, fundraising, evaluation and general administration is all time consuming. "I might say it’s seventy percent of my time. Approximately thirty percent includes making dances, dancing, discussing the art, making with collaborators and performing.”

 

There is a kindness that Laila appears to give herself and to those around her; so, when I questioned her secret to her well-being, her response was surprising: "I don’t think I’ve cracked that yet! I had a mentor once, who looked at my timetable and questioned where my time off was scheduled. Weeks disappear and you get to the end of the year and realise you haven’t stopped.” She explains that she is learning to schedule in activities such as walks or going to the cinema, and is learning that these precious occasions are feeding her own practice. "It’s become totally necessary, even in the studio. I might watch an artist talk on Youtube that I've been meaning to watch for too long, or read a book or do some writing, whilst in the work place. I’m realising that this is ok. Carving day-time and reflective time is a newish way of making sure I look after myself”. 

 

In conclusion, this dance maker seems to consciously remind herself to question the way she lives her life and that quality comes in many different disguises. The consistency of appreciating the present and being open minded about the future is more than just a mind set, it also seems to be a successful business attribute.